Many people pray for breakthrough in finance. A lot of others seek for it in their career life and many more go the extra mile to experience it in their health. Seldom do people hunger for it in their relationships.
The kind of culture a society live by tells a lot about the core values the people. The success of any nation depends on the kind of values her people place in high esteem. This is also true for individuals alike.
The secret is to recognize the right values that empowers and transforms and live by it and I believe healthy relationships is one of them.
Modeling is the quickest and greatest way to influence and change others. John Maxwell allured to this when he asserted “the greatest motivational principle is modeling what you want others to do.”
God started with family. In other words, he values relationships. He not only tells us to develop healthy family, He also modeled it for us.
God modeled healthy relationship and he expects us to live accordingly.
Only a small fraction of people understand the timeless value of building transformational relationship. Too many people settle for transactional relationships.
To succeed in life, relationships are vital. No wonder Simon Sinek affirmed “success is a team sport. Failure we can do alone. Success takes the help of others.”
We need others to accomplish our purposes in life. There is nothing of significance that can be accomplished alone.
How do we experience breakthrough in our relationships?
- Love yourself
The first place we experience breakthrough is within. Our lack of or poor love for self, limits our ability to relate with others. There are too many people in our society who lack self-love. They are trying to perform on the outside what they are not on the inside. Loving and accepting yourself unconditionally doesn’t mean you are perfect. It is recognizing your strengths and putting yourself on a growth plan to develop your weaknesses. This is the heart of self-love. Self-loving people don’t compare themselves with others. They have unique and rock solid identity that is rooted in who God says they are.
Identity is the first choice we have to make. Refuse to let others define who you are. Rather, insist on who God has created you to be. The truth that you are loved unconditionally by God loves you is the truth that other truths grow on.
- Develop healthy people’s skills
No matter how terrible you are when it comes to relating with others, you can learn and improve. It doesn’t matter whether you are introverted or an extrovert, when you cultivate these relational skills and become committed to practicing them, they literally take your relationships to a whole new level, be it with your spouse, children, colleagues at work or even your church family.
“And he grew in his capacity to develop quality relationships and he found favour with men.” (Luke 2:52 paraphrased)
If Jesus who was God in form of man could develop his relational and people’s skills, then there’s nothing stopping us from developing ourselves also.
Here are few people skills we can develop
The proof of your love for yourself is measured in your love for others
- Love people unconditionally
The first step to developing quality relationship is unconditional love for self. However, we must extend the love we have for ourselves to others. The character of love is of no significance if we cannot extend it to others. If you say you love yourself but don’t love your neighbor, you don’t really love yourself. The proof of your love for yourself is measured in your love for others. There are two things that will last forever; the word of God and people. Loving people without reservation is loving yourself unconditionally.
- Encourage people continually
Do you know that encouragement is a life saver? It can literally transform a person. Encouragement is a spirit lifter. What oxygen is to the soul is what encouragement is to the human spirit. Nobody wants to be around those who bring them down continually. If you want to develop quality relationships, train yourself to be positive at all times. There’s something about positive people; they are life givers. The positive and pleasant words of wise people bring life to those who hear them.
- Honour people always
We tend to honour those who are far from us and dishonor those who are close to us. You don’t honour people because they are honourable. You honour them because you are an honourable person. If you want to experience breakthrough in relationships, you must honour people. It is both vertical and horizontal at the same time. In others words, you honour those who are ahead of you, at the same level with you and those who are below you. A lot of us focus on the dirt in people. However, to develop quality relationships, you must focus on the gold in others.
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For more wisdom and encouragement from Benson Akhigbe, Check his YouTube channel @bensonakhigbe or check out his website, bensonakhigbe.org.